“I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant”

Words, Words, Words

Language is funny. We tend to act like words can mean only one thing, as if there were a definitive, set, limited meaning for each word with no variation. When there's a misunderstanding, both sides tend to blame the other for not "saying it right" or "not listening to what I'm saying."

I'm married to a Canadian. Our early years were full of learning the difference between "American English" and "Britishisms". Saying "mum" instead of "mom", "garburator" instead of "garbage disposal." "Pudding" to me is always a gelatinous mound of gooey sugary stuff, but to a Brit it can mean any sort of dessert.

Think about words like church, flag, purity, liberal, police, revival. Each one has a dictionary definition, yet comes loaded with all sorts of connotations, emotions, and associations that go far beyond the dictionary definition—and yet vary widely among groups and individuals.

This week's exploration focuses on how many of our misunderstandings and miscommunications really come down to definitions. This is especially true when it comes to the LGBTQ community. Even words like "gay" are often used differently by straight people than they are in the queer community. And the word "queer" can be uncomfortable for older folks, even sometimes within that community, who associate it with a derogatory slur.

This week we look at two very similar clobber verses, both from the apostle Paul:

1 Corinthians 6:9-10: Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

1 Timothy 1:9–10: We also know that law is made not for the righteous but for lawbreakers and rebels, the ungodly and sinful, the unholy and irreligious; for those who kill their fathers or mothers, for murderers, for adulterers and perverts, for slave traders and liars and perjurers—and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine.

The Greek word translated "perverts" or "homosexual offenders" is arsenokoitai. But when we talk about New Testament Greek, we are not talking about modern Greek or even classical Greek. The language the New Testament is written in is Koine Greek. There are no native Koine Greek speakers today. If you've ever struggled to read Canterbury Tales or other literature written in Middle English, you have an idea what the relationship of Koine Greek is to modern Greek.

Which is where the work of linguists comes in. When people trained in linguistics set out to translate a document from an ancient language, they have to do a bit of spelunking to translate each word. They will look at the context to give clues as to the meaning. They will look at other documents from the same era to see how they use it. For most words in the New Testament, that gives translators enough clues that they can be reasonably sure they have made a fairly reliable expression of their meaning.

But with these two verses, we have a unique challenge. First of all, there's no context in the verses themselves we can use to understand Paul's intent—they are both just lists. Lists of Bad Things, but no context to know what the Bad Thing is. Even more problematic, Paul's use of arsenokoitai is idiosyncratic—the words are found nowhere else in the Bible. Outside of the Bible it's only use comes after Paul, from writers quoting these verses. We have none of the usual clues used to translate.

Like many Greek words, arsenokoitai is a compound word—a mosh up of two other words. It literally means "men bedders." Historically it has been translated various ways: "abusers of themselves with mankind" (KJV), "the brutal," "pervert." The first time it is translated "homosexual" is in the RSV translation in 1946.

The Koine Greek word malakoi is used in conjunction with arsenokoitai in 1 Cor. 6:9. It means "soft", but can be understood in three ways: 1. Literally soft, like fabric. 2. Morally soft or spineless, not having integrity. 3. An insult aimed at effeminate men. Some apply it to the passive (penetrated) partner in sexual relations. In Roman culture, married men having sex with boys– often a slave, or protégé–was common. The "one on top" was a way of showing ranking or superiority. The NIV and NRSV both translate it "male prostitutes"—we'll talk next week about the role pagan cult prostitution might play in the clobber verses.

As we noted last week, you can see the prevailing cultural patriarchy in the notion that being "treated like a woman" is associated with shame or humiliation. Scholar Michael Vasey writes that "homosexual activity was "strongly associated with idolatry, slavery, and social dominance… often the assertion of the strong over the bodies of the weak."

Think back to the role that associations and connotations play in our understanding of words. Whatever Paul means by the term arsenokoitai what is he thinking of? Does it sound like he means anywhere remotely like loving, committed gay relationships?

The bottom line is that we simply don't know what arsenokoitai means— certainly not with enough certainty to denounce all same-sex relationships. For this reason, I like the Message translation: 1 Cor. 6:9: Don’t you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don’t care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex.

(for more on translating arsenokoitai, see David Gushee, Changing our Mind, p. 74-79, and Colby Martin, Unclobber ch 10).

What are the rules of sex? Are there any rules?

The fact that we are dismantling the clobber verses may seem like there are no rules, but that's not the case. It's not that sexual ethics don't matter. The way we live out our faith in our most intimate of relationships is significant. These discussions are important. But healthy sexual ethics go beyond just simplistic, arbitrary dos and don'ts. They challenge us to think deeper about how we care for and treat one another, about broad values and priorities. In many ways, that's more challenging than simply following the rules, but it also is more powerful.

Last week we looked at the relationship between the Old Testament laws and the Sermon on Mount. We saw how in the sermon, Jesus is not abolishing the Law, but "fulfilling" it—calling us to think deeply about the value or meaning behind what often look like arbitrary and superficial rules. Jesus is moving us from rigid rule-based thinking to a more thoughtful ethic based on heart attitudes.

For example, imagine for a moment that you're in a long-term monogamous marriage. One day, your spouse comes to you and says: "I met someone new at work. They are very attractive to me, and they appear to be attracted to me as well. They've given signals they'd be open to a sexual relationship. But I know the rules of marriage, so I've decided not to cheat. That would be breaking a rule."

Think for a moment about how you'd feel about that interaction, then imagine this alternate scenario: Your spouse comes to you and says: "I met someone new at work. They are very attractive to me, and they appear to be attracted to me as well. They've given signals they'd be open to a sexual relationship. But I know that such a betrayal would break your heart. I love you so much, I can't imagine causing you that kind of pain. It would break my heart to do that. I would never risk our relationship that way."

Notice that the outward result—fidelity—is precisely the same either way. Your spouse's behavior doesn't change. But the inner heart attitude—the motives, the stance your partner has toward you—is radically different. I think most of us would prefer the second scenario.

Sexual ethics are to be based around the values and priorities of the Kingdom of God. Colby Martin suggests these "rules" for sexual ethics (Unclobber, p.165-166):

If you are straight:

Don't be flippant about your body. Don't treat it like it has no value.

Don't break your covenants, don't cheat on people.

Don't sell yourself and don't devalue others by treating them like a commodity.

Don't use your power or influence to take advantage of others.

If you are gay, lesbian, bi, transgender, or queer:

Don't be flippant about your body. Don't treat it like it has no value.

Don't break your covenants, don't cheat on people.

Don't sell yourself and don't devalue others by treating them like a commodity.

Don't use your power or influence to take advantage of others.

Changing Our Mind: A Historic Example

Many of our churches are beginning to have these discussions about queer inclusion. As we do, the issue of tradition may come up. After all, "tradition" is one of the tools of the Wesleyan Quadrilateral we talked about in week two. Who are we to argue with 2000 years of Christian witness?

And yet, re-examination of long-held assumptions is also a part of Christian tradition, particularly for Protestants coming out of the Reformation. The Church has had several radical position shifts over the last two millennia. As we saw earlier in our exploration of Acts 15, in the 1st c. there was a radical shift from thinking of Christianity as something for Jews only to a broader movement that included both Jews and gentiles. In the 20th and even 21st c. we've seen shifts and debates within the church on women's roles.

A particularly revealing example is the shift in the In 17th & 18th c. among American Christians on the issue of slavery. It's interesting because it's relatively recent and was the source of intense debate—yet now is (for the most part) settled doctrine among Christians. That's a dramatic shift. How did that happen?

Let's begin by noting that the debates about slavery in the 17th & 18th c. were debates within Christianity. Both the proponents and the opponents of slavery identified as Christian. Like the discussion in Acts 15, both sides used Scripture in their arguments. But how they used Scripture was radically different. A side-by-side comparison of the texts usually cited by each side yields some interesting observations:

Proponents of slavery:

Ephesians 6:5–9 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ..

Colossians 3:22  Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to win their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord.

Titus 2:9  Teach slaves to be subject to their masters in everything, to try to please them, not to talk back to them,

1 Peter 2:18  Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh.

Abolitionist arguments:

Genesis 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them

Luke 10:27  He answered: “Love your neighbor as yourself.

Galatians 3:28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus

1Corinthians 7:21–23 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so.

1 John 4:11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Looking at the two side-by-side we can see a couple of things: First, the verses cited by proponents all contain the word "slave." I believe they were written to an oppressed people, not to justify their oppression, but to reassure them that their bondage is not a barrier to belonging to the Kingdom. But the point I want to make here is that these verses were able to be plucked out without thinking or considering the context. In contrast, most of the verses used by the abolitionists did not contain the word "slave." Most were not writing about slavery per se. They weren't specific rules and regulations about slavery. Rather, they were laying down broad, general principles—Kingdom values like love and compassion and equality.

Theologian Mark Noll writes, "Nuanced biblical attacks on American slavery faced rough going precisely because they were nuanced. This position could not simply be read out of any one biblical text; it could not be lifted directly out of the page. Rather, it needed patient reflection on the entirety of the Scriptures; it required expert knowledge of the historical circumstances of ancient Near Eastern and Roman slave systems… and it demanded that sophisticated interpretive practice replace a commonsensical literal approach to the sacred text." -The Civil War as a Theological Crisis.

How can these same principles inform the way that we read the clobber verses? How often are we drawn to the simple, the easy, the obvious? We love certainty and clarity. But life is not like that. Life is not simple. Life is complex, full of complicated problems with multiple factors. As appealing as they might be, simple answers to complex problems are usually wrong.

One of the ways we show the value we place on the Bible, our faith, and one another, is our willingness to engage hard questions thoughtfully with complex, nuanced thought. That doesn't mean everyone has to be a biblical scholar, but it does mean we are called to be thoughtful and prayerful about our lives and our relationships. About Scripture and about our faith. About living life in the Kingdom.

This week's clobber verses were fairly simple to dispense with. Next week we will tackle the most challenging of the clobber verses—Romans 1. Taking these tools with us, being willing to do the hard work, will be essential to this task.

Come, Holy Spirit, come. Make us willing to do the hard work of loving well. Make us willing to think deeply about your word and the life you are calling us to. Help us move beyond simple answers to the deeper love, the deeper life, you have for us. Amen.

Loving Kindness Meditation

By Brittany Burian, LMFT

Brittany shared a meditation aiming to cultivate compassion and empathy. It involved mentally sending goodwill, kindness, and warmth towards ourselves and others – towards both people we like and with whom we relate as well as more difficult people, towards members of the LGBTQ community as well as to people who oppose LGBTQ rights. It is important to cultivate compassion for people with whom we differ as we are all connected and belong to one another. The Lovingkindness meditation script is as follows:

Go ahead and take a moment to get settled here in your rooms in your chairs. I’d like you to turn your attention to the sensation in your heart. We don’t often take the time to check in with the state of our heart. Let’s take a moment to check in with yourself. Is there tension there? Is there sadness? Hope? Anxiety? Peace? Can you feel your heart? Just take a moment to really notice what’s there. Not to think about it, but to just feel it from the inside out. To be present to your heart [pause]

Now, I’d like you take a few moments to connect with the fact that there are other people in this world. Some of these people are in the LGBTQ community. Notice each one in the LGBTQ community is a person who experiences emotions, like you were just noticing inside yourself. [pause] Each of these people have felt happy at times, just like you. [pause] Each has been proud, just like you. [pause] Each of these people has been hurt, just like you. [pause] Each of these people has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like you. [pause] Each of these people wants to be happy or content with their life or feel like their life has meaning, just like you. [pause] And each of them has found it hard to achieve these things...each of these people suffers more than they want to…just like you. See if you can connect with how hard it is to live a human life. Being human is not easy. [pause] There may be a sense of heartache or sadness as you contemplate this situation that we all find ourselves in. Here we are, each of us, faced with this situation of how to live a human life.

And now, we will do a short lovingkindness practice together for members of the LGBTQ community. And in this practice, we will be silently offering kind wishes to LGBTQ people you know and those you do not know, including the words they most need to hear in their lives. As you are offering phrases, see if you can connect with the sensations and feelings in your heart and your kind intentions toward each person.

While connecting with your warm and kind wishes toward this group, silently repeat to yourself:

May ____ be well

May ____ be joyful

May ____ be safe and at ease

There are also other people in in this world who may have different beliefs than you about many things, different beliefs about the LGBTQ community. Maybe you find yourself feeling judgment or anger towards these people. Try to bring to mind someone with whom you disagree. They may be in your family, church or community. Notice each one is a person who experiences emotions, just like you. [pause] Each of these people have felt happy at times, just like you. [pause] Each has been proud, just like you. [pause] Each of these people has been hurt, just like you. [pause] Each of these people has felt unworthy or inadequate, just like you. [pause] Each of these people wants to be happy or content with their life or feel like their life has meaning, just like you. [pause] And each of them has found it hard to achieve these things...each of these people suffers more than they want to…just like you. See if you can connect with how hard it is to live a human life. Being human is not easy. [pause] There may be a sense of heartache or sadness as you contemplate this situation that we all find ourselves in. Here we are, each of us, faced with this situation of how to live a human life.

This time we will do a short lovingkindness practice together for people who believe differently than you believe. And in this practice, we will be silently offering kind wishes to these folks, including the words they most need to hear in their lives. As you are offering phrases, see if you can connect with the sensations and feelings in your heart and your kind intentions toward each person.

While connecting with your warm and kind wishes toward this group, silently repeat to yourself:

May those who differ from me be well

May those who differ from me be joyful

May those who differ from me be safe and at ease

And now, bringing to mind this big, beautiful world that God created and everyone in it, all of us in this group.

Let us repeat in the mind these words of lovingkindness once again, but this time directed toward this group and the world as a whole.

May we all be well

May we all accept ourselves as we are

May we all be kind to ourselves

May we all feel safe and at ease

[repeat these phrases one more round for a total of two rounds]

And when you are ready, bring your attention back into the room and gently allow your eyes to open if they have been closed.